The Thumbnail Book Reviews
by John Q McDonald --- 27 July 2005
by Janis Cooke Newman
Adoption of children from abroad has become popular perhaps because the demand for small children is so high in this country and small children are more readily available overseas. (This begs the perpetual question as to what happens to the older kids.) There is, of course, a large industry in child adoption at home and abroad, and it can look disturbingly like a market in children. Adoption here or elsewhere is not a cheap option, and yet one would think that giving unwanted children homes should be made as easy as possible. Not so. And this book is one woman's story of how hard it can be to adopt a little boy from Russia. Uninterested in motherhood until the death of her own mother, the author discovers that she and her husband are unable to conceive their own child. They meet up with a woman in Berkeley, California, who is connected with some people in Russia who facilitate adoptions. The whole operation seems somewhat seedy (and I imagine the many options have varying degrees of dependability). She and her husband fly to Russia, where they meet little Grisha in an orphanage that is described as a pretty unpleasant environment. Grisha is a relatively healthy child, and there are several others in the orphanage who are not so fortunate (what happens to them?). What ensues is a tangle of personalities, bureaucracy and culture shock that draws out their adoption to many months both at home and in Russia. They decide this is their child, and name him Alex. They experience Russia as outsiders, and the author has an adversarial relationship with the country, where she doesn't know the language, and is bugged by so many of the quirks of a nation recovering from many years of deprivation. The author's decision to have a child seems rooted in her relationship with her late mother. She recalls some of the good and some of the bad there, and her motives for motherhood are unexplored. Russia is an annoyance to both her and her husband. Her descriptions may be accurate, but the tone is unfriendly. The atmosphere compels them to blame the whole country for holding back their adoption of innocent Grisha. Their approach seems just a little naive, but the outcome is happy. Now they have to learn how to be patient parents, and that is a long journey. The book is vividly written, lively and, if you're looking to adopt from Russia, probably quite informative.