by Pagan Kennedy
Most likely, our only real chance at time travel will ever only be in our memory. Some people have even begun to attempt to document their entire lives in electronic media (making one wonder what they'll do about the inevitable format changes). In theory, every single thing that has ever happened to us is recorded somewhere in our brains. That we don't have direct access to all of it is a blessing, actually, but also a curse. We can blissfully forget the pains of our past, but we also often forget the joys. This results in the counterproductive emotion of nostalgia, the act of rethinking our past in the most positive light possible. But what if we could, periodically, recall memories in the most minute detail? What would that be like? Would we be able to recapture the happiness we think we might have once had? Would we be able to escape the pains of the present? And how hypnotic would that be? These are the kinds of questions raised in Pagan Kennedy's breezy novel. Win Duncan is a forty year old man who longs for the confidence and happiness he thinks he once had in his youth and with his wife, Edie. The two of them are on the faculty of a small liberal arts college in New Hampshire, and Win is convinced they have lost all track of who they are. Edie, however, seems more fulfilled than him. When his old grad school buddy Litminov shows up, Win is ready for a new adventure. Litminov offers Win a drug he calls Mem, which allows you to experience your memories in acute detail. It is an intoxicating experience, and they use it to see the family they've lost and to revisit the happiest moments of their lives. Soon, Win's marriage is falling apart, he's following Litminov to drug parties, and he is contemplating life addicted to Mem. Litminov plans to make millions on the drug, but he has his own demons to confront. The book becomes disjointed, here, and Win's path confused. It is as if the writer doesn't quite know what story she is trying to tell. Win's addiction is never terribly convincing, and neither is his transformation from detached and self-absorbed to giving and compassionate. Two or three major story lines just fall by the wayside. But the book has a certain appeal. The potential of such a drug quickly becomes apparent, as does its danger. (The basic idea was also explored in a great 1991 movie called Until the End of the World, but there it involved dreams rather than memories.) Would you like to revisit your long lost memories, even if you couldn't change them? Apparently, this is a popular enough notion. As a path toward regaining one's identity or happiness, it is questionable. We are made up of our memories, but we live in the here and now. This may be Kennedy's ultimate point, but the story is a bit of a mess getting there. Still, the book is diverting and thought-provoking.
Also by Pagan Kennedy: [Platforms]